11
May
10

No need to spay your dog unless she acts all skanky and stuff?

Ad Text:

WE HAVE A BLACK LAB MIX SHE IS BEAUTIFUL SHE IS 1 TR OLD FULLY POTTY TRAINED AND GREAT WITH KIDS SHE IS NOT A BARKER UNLESS SHE DOESNT KNOW U AND THAT LAST ABOUT A MINUTE LOL SHE IS SOOOOOOOOOO LOVABLE SHE LOVES TO BE PETTED RUN AROUND OUT SIDE AND CAN WALK AND RUN WITH OUT A LEESH WILL NOT RUN FROM U 1000 PERCENT GARENTEE ME AND BOYFRIEND ARE IN SCHOOL AND NOW WE BOTH GOT A JOB SO WE CAN NOT SPEND AS MUCH TIME WITH HER AS WE WISH SHE IS PERFECT AND THE MOST LOYAL DOG U WILL KNOW EVERYTHING SHE HAS IS NEW
2 LEESHES AND COLLARS 1 PINK SET AND ONE BLACK SET A BRAND NEW TOP OF THE LINE DOGGY BED SO CONFORTABLE
FULL BAG OF DOG FOOD
BAGS AND BAGS OF TREATS AND STUFF FOR HER TEETH
A BRUSH
BONES AND RAW HIDES BRAND NEW BIG BAG
SHAMPOO CONDITIONER AND LEAVE IN CONDITIONER AND SPRAY TO MAKE HER SMELL GREAT
SHE LOVES TO PLAY IN LAKES SHE IS SO FUNNY TO WATCH NEVER BITES AT ALL SHE IS JUST A LOVER
SHE IS MEDIUM SIZE ABOUT 30 LBS MAYBE A LITTLE MORE BUT SUCH AN AWESOME DOG WE WANT HER TO GO TO THE BEST PEOPLE EVER IF U R THEM CALL ME AT 720[redacted] OR 303 [redacted] MY NAME IS CORAL HER NAME IS DAKOTA THERE IS A REHOMING FEE OF best offer AND U GET EVERYTHING U WONT NEED TO BUY HER ONE THING AT ALL SHE HAS IT ALL EVEN TOYS LIKE I SAID EVERYTHINGIS BRAND NEW now there is one thing i didnt do and that was get her spaded but she has not been hypersexual at all so yeah

COME SEE HER
[redacted]
LITTLETON, CO. 80127

720 [redacted]
303 [redacted]
ASK FOR CORAL

There’s enough fail in this ad for several posts, but let’s focus on the worst part: She’s not “spaded” because she hasn’t been “hypersexual at all so yeah.” (Now, how is it that our new friend Coral can’t spell “spayed,” but can spell “hypersexual?”)  So, apparently, we spay dogs to prevent them from acting all horny, not to prevent unwanted litters or life-threatening health conditions like pyometra. Since Dakota is classier than that (she’s sexual, but not hypersexual, you see), she doesn’t need to be spayed.

Okay, I’m off to spay Katy Perry. You guys have fun mocking the rest of this ad for me. I’d suggest starting with the part where they posted their full address on the Internet, on a website like Craigslist that brings crazies out of the woodwork. Or how they want the “BEST PEOPLE EVER” to adopt (buy) this dog, but the rehoming fee is “best offer.” So I guess the best people are the ones willing to pay the most. Cute Lab, though:

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