Archive for the 'birds' Category


Inability to afford a pet on my part constitutes an emergency on your part!

Ad Text:

Need some help; I have a cocktail that needs to go to the vet, to get some broken feathers plucked.
We live in a low-income building and cannot afford to take him to the vet, I have a quote for 150.00 to get it done in a vet now..
Is there anyone who can pay this for us?
We can go to the vet of your choice if need be, but need it done soon.
So u know his name is Franky
he is the white,grey and yellow on the left

Please help us out, you can call me at 303-[redacted] and ask or saul

Hey, did you know that when other people irresponsibly keep pets who they can’t afford to provide humane care for, it’s an emergency for you? That is, if you’re a bird lover. If you don’t want to pay for Saul’s bird’s vet bills, you must just not be a bird lover. In fact, you probably hate birds and wish they’d all die sad, painful deaths of unplucked feathers while their poor, starving owner looks at you with mournful eyes as his children moan for just one more piece of bread, papa. Yes you, bird hater, you’re so cruel, aren’t you?

Don’t even think about suggesting that Saul ask for recommendations for a vet who might take payments. That’s not how a bird lover should talk. Nor should you suggest that Saul take out a loan or, hell, canvass his neighborhood offering to perform 10 odd jobs at $15 each. That’s just insanity. He shouldn’t have to be inconvenienced to free his pet from a painful health problem.

I’ve got an idea: How about someone helps poor Saul by offering Franky a good home in a household where his vet care will be paid for by his owner? Oh, and while you’re at it, perhaps you can relieve Saul of the several other birds he seems to have somehow mysteriously acquired, probably through no fault of his own, I bet they just flew through the window of his “low income building” and demanded expensive food and vet care.

Cockatiels on Cage


An offer you can refuse.

Ad Text:

I am looking for an African Grey Parrot, if anyone want to re-home his parrot I am willing to take it for $150-$200 with or without cage. I already have some birds in my house; so please contact me at 720-[redacted] if you are willing to re-home your parrot.
Thank you
Abdullah Arab

What a generous, gracious man. He’s willing to take your African Grey Parrot off your hands for 10% of what it costs to purchase one from a decent breeder. And he already has some birds in his house (what, did they just fly in and start nesting?) so you’re assured that not only will you be permitted to sell your bird (with or without cage!) cheaply to this man, you can also be certain that it won’t get his exclusive attention, nor will it be important enough for him to refer to it by name or species. It’ll be another “bird” that’s “in his house.”

There’s a way to offer your home to a bird in need. There’s also an appropriate way to convey that you’re looking to provide a good home, not pay breeder prices for a parrot. However, if you’re requesting the opportunity to provide a home to a very expensive exotic bird whose annual checkups and bloodwork will cost more than you’re willing to pay for the bird, you might consider offering something, anything that indicates you’re actually a decent owner, not a reseller. Say, the names and species of the birds you already own. The name of your vet. A little information about what you feed your birds and how much attention they get.

Oh, who am I kidding? This isn’t just a poorly written ad, this is either a reseller or someone who sees parrots with the intelligence of human toddlers as a convenient, exotic accessory that would go nicely with their sofa and impress the neighbors.


Macaw Egg Omelettes Await You, Complete with Poo

Set aside for a moment the obvious problems with this ad, like that (no matter how fertile they may be) a pair of Scarlet Macaws is unlikely to produce fertile eggs for just anyone, or that a breeding pair isn’t likely to stay tame once the female starts feeling broody… that’s just your garden variety Craiglist BYB idiocy.

Allow me to call your attention to the broken eggs in the “frig.” First of all, he’s advertising that they’re broken, why? But more importantly, he’s keeping the broken ones in the fridge? What, is he saving them for Easter or something? Planning to have them scrambled for breakfast?

Ad Text:

SCARLETS READY TO BREED very tame talking HAVE LAID EGGS BEFORE. ready to lay and have BIG CAGE ASK FOR MARK 954-[redacted]

3 BROKEN EGGS IN FRIG RIGHT NOW. who ever is flaging thanks helps keep me up on top of page .keeps me from having to wait 2 days to do that AND GETTING LOST WITH OTHERS. good idea. will not get lost ANYMORE in the pages 2 times a day should do it MORNING AND EVES PLEASE.

Oh, and about this new “I love it when you flag me” thing for CL breeder scumbags? Don’t buy it. Enough flagged ads and their account will be flaggable by just one or two people, meaning they’ll be off the top faster than you can say, “Read the terms of use.”

Now, let’s take a look at these birds. They must be getting the best of care since they’re breeding happily, right? Um…

Poor birds… why the hell would you even take pictures if you’re keeping your animals for sale in such filth? They don’t even have a nesting box to lay that egg in? These are animals that are smarter than most toddlers. And they are being kept in a rusted, filthy cage with nothing but an old dog toy to keep them company.

I’m just going to hope that their real accommodations are luxurious and these photos are just a clever ploy to get someone to buy the birds out of pity.


Winner and Still Champion of the Craigslist Misspelling Derby…

There’s not much to do in North Dakota, besides make up new ways to spell “Cockatiel” wrong. That and amass a huge herd of various noisy birds, presumably either in hopes of making money breeding them or in order to annoy your neighbors into moving away.

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