Archive for the 'Breeding' Category

24
Aug
10

Worst, most obvious puppy mill yet.

All of these ads were posted to Denver Craigslist within a few days of each other. Several were posted in a row on the same day.

In the interests of length and because the screenshots are all small and readable, I won’t transcribe the ad text, and there’s a jump in the middle of the list to read the rest.

More after the jump:
Continue reading ‘Worst, most obvious puppy mill yet.’

20
Aug
10

Hey guys, if I make a bunch of stuff up that makes me a good breeder! AKA, stupidest rat breeder ever.


Ad Text:

Hello,

We have some very nice selective rat weanlings for adoption. We have the most incredible Black Rat called the Black Phantom. If you are looking for a Black Rat look no further. We have Tan and White Berkshires, Tan and White Rex, Brown and White Berkshires and Rex. We have Black and White Berkshires and Rex to if interested. We have these rats for fun and when we get too many we just have to put some up for adoption. Our surplus is your gain. These are not pet store rats. The parents have been put together from all over the country from selectively sought after rats. We take our rats very seriously. The price is firm. We have not put any of our rats for adoption recently so they will be adopted fast. Here are some pics of our current pups for adoption. They are about 3 weeks old and will be weaned soon for pickup. Also if you are looking for any certain colors we have it now or will have it soon. We have blues browns tans and albinos if interested. Also we have some multi colored too. The last but most important thing is that all of these rats have been hand raised from day one. They are very calm and do not nip. They are really amazing. Come check one out when you get the chance.

We currently have Dumbo Rats for adoption and they are really nice. We also have some gorgeous Blue and Brown Hooded babies. We have varigated and multi-colored also. We will have weaned rats available for adoption on August 19th. Please call or write and tell me what you are looking for.

Rehoming Fees START at 10.00 each. Please inquire for what you are interested in. We have many unique rats for adoption.

We also have a few older rats around 1 year of age. They are available for adoption if you are looking for a wonderful mature pet that requires just a ton of love. Please inquire if you are interested in adopting an older rat.

Thanks for looking,
Bill
303-[redacted]

There’s so much stupid in this ad I can’t even know where to begin criticizing it, so first let me link some responsible rat breeders (yes, they exist) who would never, ever, ever dream of finding adopters through Craigslist.

Responsible Rat Breeder 1
Responsible Rat Breeder 2

Notice something those sites have in common? It’s called a “waiting list,” and it’s what responsible breeders keep so that they don’t have to look for homes for babies on the most notoriously awful pet sales/adoption website in the country.

But then again, this guy isn’t responsible. Now, none of these errors would be anything to hoot and holler about if they came from a pet owner seeking a good home for rats he or she could no longer keep. But this Bill character is setting himself up as a breeder who is a source for premium, fantastical, highly in demand (but not enough so for a BLOODY GOLDARN WAITING LIST) rats. So, let’s pick apart his ad for reasons this dumbass shouldn’t be breeding at all, shall we?

1. “We have the most incredible Black Rat called the Black Phantom.” There is no such thing as a Black Phantom Rat. These are the known and repeatable rat colors that exist. “New” colors must go through an approval process with a show organization. See, the phenotype of a rat (what you see when you look at it) results from its genotype (the genes creating that appearance), and new color genes just don’t spring up all over the place.

This here is the supposed black phantom, which in reality is just a solid black rat. Nothing special about it whatsoever:

Plain black rat.

Look, the rat is black. Wow. Just like the millions of other rats that have been born with black fur.

(this is a long one, so you’re going to have to click through to read the whole thing!)
Continue reading ‘Hey guys, if I make a bunch of stuff up that makes me a good breeder! AKA, stupidest rat breeder ever.’

11
Aug
10

Uncannily honest BYB is uncannily honest.


Ad Text:

male 13week old shar-pei akc eyes tacked needs new home soon due to his agr we do want rehoming fee just to make the money back on his eye surgery so the least we can take is 250$ call only if very intrested 303-[redacted]

This ad was ridiculous enough to bring me out of the Land of the Blog Hiatus (inhabited mostly by people with too much paying work to focus on a funny snarky blog) in order to comment on the (probably) unintentional honesty here.

Needs to find a new home soon due to his agr. Now, I suppose they might mean “aggression,” but in a 13-week-old pup? Nah. Let’s see what Wikipedia has to say about the matter.

Oh, Adjusted Gross Revenue. That clears it right up. As in, this puppy needs to generate some, cause he ain’t making no adjusted gross revenoos sitting around the house going through puppy chow and needing things like vet care. Cause everybody knows when you make puppies, you’re not supposed to have to spend money on keeping them healthy!

So go on, somebody hurry up and buy this poor Shar Pei, Mama needs to save up for a new doublewide.

Shar Pei puppy held by BYB.

25
Jun
10

More than meets the eye… and a nasty surprise for a spouse?


Ad Text:

Ive posted a few times on here already about my 9 weeks old shar pei mix puppie
he is a really good dog its just not working out at our apartments and with our son
if anyone is interested please let me know
I dont want to give him back to where we got him I think he would be heart broken I would rather find him a happy home with a yard
I paid 350 for him Im willing to go as low as 200

This is bad enough as it is. The puppy is all of nine weeks, so he could legally have been sold in his state (Colorado) only one week ago. Unfortunately many BYBs don’t obey the law, so maybe he’s been in his home as much as three weeks. The poster hasn’t even given the puppy a month to adjust to his new home. Let me guess: An impulse buy at a pet store or from a BYB, with absolutely no thought put into whether or not a puppy would fit into his owner’s lifestyle.

But wait… there’s more! A few posts up we found this:


Ad Text:

so sorry too anyone that has responded to this add for a shar pei puppy for sale
he is not for sale aparently someone and I are not seeing eye to eye on this for some reason
he is not desperate for a home he is happy here with me and there would be no reason to ask for some stranger to pay you money if he would have somewhere to go Mr. price!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, apparently the Shar Pei has been offered a home by someone who actually met the puppy, perhaps already has it in their home (“he is happy here with me”) and is willing to keep it for good. And yet, our charmer up above is trying to peddle the pup for $200 to anybody with a yard, apparently without even notifying this person, who may or may not actually be the dog’s owner.

I’ve come up with a few possible backgrounds for this story, all equally full of fail. Place your bets in the comment section.

  • The two posters are the two parents of the first poster’s son. Parent A got the puppy; Parent B didn’t want a puppy and instead of discussing the matter with Parent A, tried to earn a couple hundred bucks selling it on Craigslist.
  • The first poster and second poster are friends. Poster A couldn’t keep the puppy and promised it to Poster B, but without notifying her decided to sell it instead.
  • The puppy actually belongs to Poster B but was sold to Poster A with a promise to return it to Poster B if things didn’t work out. Instead, Poster A wants to find someone with a yard to buy the puppy for $200. Poster B may or may not be an appropriate home for the dog (and yes, Shar Peis CAN live in a home without a yard, if they get proper exercise) and is probably a BYB, but a moderately tolerable one if he/she takes back puppies that don’t work out in their new homes.
  • The puppy doesn’t even belong to Poster A at all; the story is totally made up and Poster A intended to sell a friend or spouse’s puppy quick and tell Poster B that it ran away. Unfortunately Poster B happens to read Craigslist and found their own puppy being sold!
  • They’re both the same person and both ads are faked in order to start some Craigslist drama.

If you have another idea as to what happened, post it as a comment!

Poor Pup:

25
Jun
10

And now, for something completely irritating

This is a little snippet of WordPress’s list of search terms people used to find this blog. Notice how many of them have to do with wanting to give cats away? There are more, too, but I couldn’t fit them in one screen shot.

A few days ago we added a page on safely rehoming pets through Craigslist, something that should only be an option if everything else is exhausted and the only alternatives are high-kill shelters or putting the pet to sleep at its own vet’s office. I put that up because, despite that this blog is dedicated to mocking people who dump their furry family members on the first taker through ¬†Craigslist, people keep finding it while searching for ways to get rid of their pets. Particularly cats.

So, a cautionary word to those considering adopting a cat: Not all cats are low-maintenance and independent. Cat care may be inexpensive in the prime of life (or it may not be) but it will very likely be expensive in the senior years. Not all cats bond with their owners. Many cats have difficulties using the litterbox at one or another time in life. Spay and neuter your cats–even if they’re only cats and indoor-only. Intact sex organs are a powerful motivation to escape, roam, breed, and possibly be killed. Not all kittens are playful. Not all adult cats are mellow.

There are many, many, many people who have cats already and, for one reason or another, don’t want to keep them. Across the country and the world, shelters euthanize more unwanted cats than dogs and adopt out fewer of those they take in. Cats that wandered away from home are rarely claimed by their owners at shelters.

If you think you might someday become one of the people using a search engine to find information on how to give away your cat, please don’t get a cat. Foster a cat instead. There is a rescue near you that needs foster families desperately. It hurts to give them up, but it stops hurting when a new cat comes along needing you to save its life and help it find a forever home. You can share your home with a cat or several cats without making a lifetime commitment you may not be able to honor. Best of all, you’ll be saving lives.

23
Jun
10

Anybody want to buy a horse that will be unsound by the time he’s four? Bonus: Kill your kids!


Ad Text:

I NEED TO FIND A GOOD HOME FOR MY 2 YEARS OLD HORSE!
HE IS A GREAT HORSE!
HE WILL BE A GREAT HORSE FOR KIDS!
HE WAS TRAINED BUT JUST DOESNT GET RIDDEN SO HE WILL NEED SOME TUNING!
NEED TO FIND A GOOD HOME !
ASKING $450

Wait, WTF? Let’s break this down.

The horse is two now. Most horses are born in the spring. Presuming the best of the owner, let’s say the colt probably turned two in March, the earliest that it’s really likely anything but a racing Thoroughbred was born. If he was trained but doesn’t get ridden anymore and now needs tuning up, that means he’s probably not been ridden in at least two months. And for even an idiot to consider him “trained,” not “started,” he’d probably need at least 60 days under saddle. So even thinking magnanimously, we’re looking at a horse who likely was ridden before he turned two.

For the non-equestrians in the audience, horses’ joints don’t mature fully until at least age four. You can start a horse at two if you absolutely must, preferably with a vet’s approval. Some racehorses are started as “long yearlings” (almost two) with a very light rider, and they aren’t expected to stay sound for more than at most a couple years of racing. But from that dished face (see below) this horse looks like he might be part Arabian–a breed that most experienced trainers won’t start under saddle until at least age three.

Bottom line: Not only is this an immature horse with very little training being advertised as a horse for children, but he’s also been ridden at such a young age that it’s likely he will not remain sound for riding for very long, if he’s even sound now. He also looks slightly underweight.

Congratulations, anonymous Craigslist poster. I’m sure that whoever eventually eats your horses’s flesh after he’s auctioned off to a kill buyer is very glad that someone (probably you) bred this poorly built horse, rode the poor thing as a yearling, and then you sold it to some poor sap who thought a two year old (probably intact) colt would be safe for their kids. I just hope that a child isn’t seriously injured or killed along the way.

Poor horse:

22
Jun
10

Honesty is the best policy, and this guy’s honestly horrible.


Ad Text:

I need to give away these pups. Ive been trying to sell them using craigslist, but no one wants to pay the price Im asking. I am a breeder, but I dont want to pay to buy and ad to sell them. They are getting to old, no one is gonna want to pay the high price I am asking anymore. So I am either giving them away free or taking them to the pound (wjere I will have to pay a fee to turn them in) so they can be adopted out for 50 bucks, which ensures shots, registration, and fix. 623-[redacted]

Wait, what am I supposed to snark about here? What can I say about this person that makes them look any worse than they’re admitting to being? I’ll give it the old college try, but I’m not sure it’s possible to mock someone who’s this frank about being a worthless, BYB jackass who is busy filling shelters’ euthanasia lists with more unwanted Pit Bulls.

What if this person’s Pit bitch had required a c-section or other emergency care? That would cost a little more than an ad in the paper–which, of course, is just another BYB tactic. Responsible breeders don’t need to advertise; they have a house or kennel full of walking advertisements, which they display at shows and/or performance events. Maybe they buy an ad in a breed-specific newsletter or on a show’s class list, but the newspaper classifieds are BYBs all the way down. But back to the pet who produced these puppies: Of course, he’d just have let her die. And he’d probably have posted any surviving puppies on Craigslist with some blab about “dog died giving birth, don’t have time to bottle feed, anyone want them?” and they’d get fed to some sicko’s Boa Constrictor.

It’s amazing to me how people can go through life so completely immune to the idea that, just maybe, they did something stupid. I’m a forgiving person. I wouldn’t have posted this person here if the ad had said “I was stupid enough to think I could make easy money breeding dogs; now I’m stuck with a bunch of puppies that I realize nobody wants. If you can give one of them a good home I’d be eternally grateful. The mother has been spayed.” A mistake that could cost dogs’ lives is a big mistake, but it’s still forgivable if the person who makes it truly understands what they’ve done wrong.

But this guy/gal? Nope. I bet they’ll have another litter within the season.

Poor pups: