Archive for the 'Greed' Category

24
Aug
10

Worst, most obvious puppy mill yet.

All of these ads were posted to Denver Craigslist within a few days of each other. Several were posted in a row on the same day.

In the interests of length and because the screenshots are all small and readable, I won’t transcribe the ad text, and there’s a jump in the middle of the list to read the rest.

More after the jump:
Continue reading ‘Worst, most obvious puppy mill yet.’

20
Aug
10

Hey guys, if I make a bunch of stuff up that makes me a good breeder! AKA, stupidest rat breeder ever.


Ad Text:

Hello,

We have some very nice selective rat weanlings for adoption. We have the most incredible Black Rat called the Black Phantom. If you are looking for a Black Rat look no further. We have Tan and White Berkshires, Tan and White Rex, Brown and White Berkshires and Rex. We have Black and White Berkshires and Rex to if interested. We have these rats for fun and when we get too many we just have to put some up for adoption. Our surplus is your gain. These are not pet store rats. The parents have been put together from all over the country from selectively sought after rats. We take our rats very seriously. The price is firm. We have not put any of our rats for adoption recently so they will be adopted fast. Here are some pics of our current pups for adoption. They are about 3 weeks old and will be weaned soon for pickup. Also if you are looking for any certain colors we have it now or will have it soon. We have blues browns tans and albinos if interested. Also we have some multi colored too. The last but most important thing is that all of these rats have been hand raised from day one. They are very calm and do not nip. They are really amazing. Come check one out when you get the chance.

We currently have Dumbo Rats for adoption and they are really nice. We also have some gorgeous Blue and Brown Hooded babies. We have varigated and multi-colored also. We will have weaned rats available for adoption on August 19th. Please call or write and tell me what you are looking for.

Rehoming Fees START at 10.00 each. Please inquire for what you are interested in. We have many unique rats for adoption.

We also have a few older rats around 1 year of age. They are available for adoption if you are looking for a wonderful mature pet that requires just a ton of love. Please inquire if you are interested in adopting an older rat.

Thanks for looking,
Bill
303-[redacted]

There’s so much stupid in this ad I can’t even know where to begin criticizing it, so first let me link some responsible rat breeders (yes, they exist) who would never, ever, ever dream of finding adopters through Craigslist.

Responsible Rat Breeder 1
Responsible Rat Breeder 2

Notice something those sites have in common? It’s called a “waiting list,” and it’s what responsible breeders keep so that they don’t have to look for homes for babies on the most notoriously awful pet sales/adoption website in the country.

But then again, this guy isn’t responsible. Now, none of these errors would be anything to hoot and holler about if they came from a pet owner seeking a good home for rats he or she could no longer keep. But this Bill character is setting himself up as a breeder who is a source for premium, fantastical, highly in demand (but not enough so for a BLOODY GOLDARN WAITING LIST) rats. So, let’s pick apart his ad for reasons this dumbass shouldn’t be breeding at all, shall we?

1. “We have the most incredible Black Rat called the Black Phantom.” There is no such thing as a Black Phantom Rat. These are the known and repeatable rat colors that exist. “New” colors must go through an approval process with a show organization. See, the phenotype of a rat (what you see when you look at it) results from its genotype (the genes creating that appearance), and new color genes just don’t spring up all over the place.

This here is the supposed black phantom, which in reality is just a solid black rat. Nothing special about it whatsoever:

Plain black rat.

Look, the rat is black. Wow. Just like the millions of other rats that have been born with black fur.

(this is a long one, so you’re going to have to click through to read the whole thing!)
Continue reading ‘Hey guys, if I make a bunch of stuff up that makes me a good breeder! AKA, stupidest rat breeder ever.’

12
Aug
10

Inability to afford a pet on my part constitutes an emergency on your part!


Ad Text:

Need some help; I have a cocktail that needs to go to the vet, to get some broken feathers plucked.
We live in a low-income building and cannot afford to take him to the vet, I have a quote for 150.00 to get it done in a vet now..
Is there anyone who can pay this for us?
We can go to the vet of your choice if need be, but need it done soon.
So u know his name is Franky
he is the white,grey and yellow on the left

Please help us out, you can call me at 303-[redacted] and ask or saul

Hey, did you know that when other people irresponsibly keep pets who they can’t afford to provide humane care for, it’s an emergency for you? That is, if you’re a bird lover. If you don’t want to pay for Saul’s bird’s vet bills, you must just not be a bird lover. In fact, you probably hate birds and wish they’d all die sad, painful deaths of unplucked feathers while their poor, starving owner looks at you with mournful eyes as his children moan for just one more piece of bread, papa. Yes you, bird hater, you’re so cruel, aren’t you?

Don’t even think about suggesting that Saul ask for recommendations for a vet who might take payments. That’s not how a bird lover should talk. Nor should you suggest that Saul take out a loan or, hell, canvass his neighborhood offering to perform 10 odd jobs at $15 each. That’s just insanity. He shouldn’t have to be inconvenienced to free his pet from a painful health problem.

I’ve got an idea: How about someone helps poor Saul by offering Franky a good home in a household where his vet care will be paid for by his owner? Oh, and while you’re at it, perhaps you can relieve Saul of the several other birds he seems to have somehow mysteriously acquired, probably through no fault of his own, I bet they just flew through the window of his “low income building” and demanded expensive food and vet care.

Cockatiels on Cage

11
Aug
10

Uncannily honest BYB is uncannily honest.


Ad Text:

male 13week old shar-pei akc eyes tacked needs new home soon due to his agr we do want rehoming fee just to make the money back on his eye surgery so the least we can take is 250$ call only if very intrested 303-[redacted]

This ad was ridiculous enough to bring me out of the Land of the Blog Hiatus (inhabited mostly by people with too much paying work to focus on a funny snarky blog) in order to comment on the (probably) unintentional honesty here.

Needs to find a new home soon due to his agr. Now, I suppose they might mean “aggression,” but in a 13-week-old pup? Nah. Let’s see what Wikipedia has to say about the matter.

Oh, Adjusted Gross Revenue. That clears it right up. As in, this puppy needs to generate some, cause he ain’t making no adjusted gross revenoos sitting around the house going through puppy chow and needing things like vet care. Cause everybody knows when you make puppies, you’re not supposed to have to spend money on keeping them healthy!

So go on, somebody hurry up and buy this poor Shar Pei, Mama needs to save up for a new doublewide.

Shar Pei puppy held by BYB.

25
Jun
10

More than meets the eye… and a nasty surprise for a spouse?


Ad Text:

Ive posted a few times on here already about my 9 weeks old shar pei mix puppie
he is a really good dog its just not working out at our apartments and with our son
if anyone is interested please let me know
I dont want to give him back to where we got him I think he would be heart broken I would rather find him a happy home with a yard
I paid 350 for him Im willing to go as low as 200

This is bad enough as it is. The puppy is all of nine weeks, so he could legally have been sold in his state (Colorado) only one week ago. Unfortunately many BYBs don’t obey the law, so maybe he’s been in his home as much as three weeks. The poster hasn’t even given the puppy a month to adjust to his new home. Let me guess: An impulse buy at a pet store or from a BYB, with absolutely no thought put into whether or not a puppy would fit into his owner’s lifestyle.

But wait… there’s more! A few posts up we found this:


Ad Text:

so sorry too anyone that has responded to this add for a shar pei puppy for sale
he is not for sale aparently someone and I are not seeing eye to eye on this for some reason
he is not desperate for a home he is happy here with me and there would be no reason to ask for some stranger to pay you money if he would have somewhere to go Mr. price!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, apparently the Shar Pei has been offered a home by someone who actually met the puppy, perhaps already has it in their home (“he is happy here with me”) and is willing to keep it for good. And yet, our charmer up above is trying to peddle the pup for $200 to anybody with a yard, apparently without even notifying this person, who may or may not actually be the dog’s owner.

I’ve come up with a few possible backgrounds for this story, all equally full of fail. Place your bets in the comment section.

  • The two posters are the two parents of the first poster’s son. Parent A got the puppy; Parent B didn’t want a puppy and instead of discussing the matter with Parent A, tried to earn a couple hundred bucks selling it on Craigslist.
  • The first poster and second poster are friends. Poster A couldn’t keep the puppy and promised it to Poster B, but without notifying her decided to sell it instead.
  • The puppy actually belongs to Poster B but was sold to Poster A with a promise to return it to Poster B if things didn’t work out. Instead, Poster A wants to find someone with a yard to buy the puppy for $200. Poster B may or may not be an appropriate home for the dog (and yes, Shar Peis CAN live in a home without a yard, if they get proper exercise) and is probably a BYB, but a moderately tolerable one if he/she takes back puppies that don’t work out in their new homes.
  • The puppy doesn’t even belong to Poster A at all; the story is totally made up and Poster A intended to sell a friend or spouse’s puppy quick and tell Poster B that it ran away. Unfortunately Poster B happens to read Craigslist and found their own puppy being sold!
  • They’re both the same person and both ads are faked in order to start some Craigslist drama.

If you have another idea as to what happened, post it as a comment!

Poor Pup:

18
Jun
10

An offer you can refuse.


Ad Text:

Hi
I am looking for an African Grey Parrot, if anyone want to re-home his parrot I am willing to take it for $150-$200 with or without cage. I already have some birds in my house; so please contact me at 720-[redacted] if you are willing to re-home your parrot.
Thank you
Abdullah Arab

What a generous, gracious man. He’s willing to take your African Grey Parrot off your hands for 10% of what it costs to purchase one from a decent breeder. And he already has some birds in his house (what, did they just fly in and start nesting?) so you’re assured that not only will you be permitted to sell your bird (with or without cage!) cheaply to this man, you can also be certain that it won’t get his exclusive attention, nor will it be important enough for him to refer to it by name or species. It’ll be another “bird” that’s “in his house.”

There’s a way to offer your home to a bird in need. There’s also an appropriate way to convey that you’re looking to provide a good home, not pay breeder prices for a parrot. However, if you’re requesting the opportunity to provide a home to a very expensive exotic bird whose annual checkups and bloodwork will cost more than you’re willing to pay for the bird, you might consider offering something, anything that indicates you’re actually a decent owner, not a reseller. Say, the names and species of the birds you already own. The name of your vet. A little information about what you feed your birds and how much attention they get.

Oh, who am I kidding? This isn’t just a poorly written ad, this is either a reseller or someone who sees parrots with the intelligence of human toddlers as a convenient, exotic accessory that would go nicely with their sofa and impress the neighbors.

16
Jun
10

Perhaps you haven’t thought this one through.


Ad Text:

hello my name is rick me and my fiance just moved out here and we are looking for a free puppy under 40 lbs we need something that will be allowed in an appatment and good with my 3 year old daughter we would love to have a pug mix or terrier mix but the breed is not a big issue for us we just want a little pet to love an take for walks. i do not have a vehicle so if you could drop him/her off that would be great to my number is 707-[redacted] i am available anytime if you would like to call

The request for a free puppy–delivery included–is bad enough, but check out the breed preferences. A “Pug mix” or a “terrier mix.” Pug mixed with what? And are they talking about a Yorkshire Terrier, Wheaten Terrier, Scottish Terrier, Jack Russell Terrier? In fact, just about any terrier breed is a really lousy fit with a 3-year-old child unless the owners are “terrier people” who know just how to train and exercise a high energy dog that’s very reactive to sights and sounds. Pugs and terriers couldn’t possibly be more different.

I’m not even going to get into how someone who can’t afford to take a taxi to pick up a puppy and won’t pay an adoption or “rehoming” fee could possibly afford shots, neutering (oh, right, they just won’t spay or neuter, puppies are for selling on Craigslist!) or any emergency bills. Just… Pug or terrier, mixed with some random other dog? What? Did you just go on some dog photos website and pick out keywords that were attached to cute pictures? Actually, that’s probably exactly what they did, and that depresses me.