Archive Page 2

25
Jun
10

And now, for something completely irritating

This is a little snippet of WordPress’s list of search terms people used to find this blog. Notice how many of them have to do with wanting to give cats away? There are more, too, but I couldn’t fit them in one screen shot.

A few days ago we added a page on safely rehoming pets through Craigslist, something that should only be an option if everything else is exhausted and the only alternatives are high-kill shelters or putting the pet to sleep at its own vet’s office. I put that up because, despite that this blog is dedicated to mocking people who dump their furry family members on the first taker through ¬†Craigslist, people keep finding it while searching for ways to get rid of their pets. Particularly cats.

So, a cautionary word to those considering adopting a cat: Not all cats are low-maintenance and independent. Cat care may be inexpensive in the prime of life (or it may not be) but it will very likely be expensive in the senior years. Not all cats bond with their owners. Many cats have difficulties using the litterbox at one or another time in life. Spay and neuter your cats–even if they’re only cats and indoor-only. Intact sex organs are a powerful motivation to escape, roam, breed, and possibly be killed. Not all kittens are playful. Not all adult cats are mellow.

There are many, many, many people who have cats already and, for one reason or another, don’t want to keep them. Across the country and the world, shelters euthanize more unwanted cats than dogs and adopt out fewer of those they take in. Cats that wandered away from home are rarely claimed by their owners at shelters.

If you think you might someday become one of the people using a search engine to find information on how to give away your cat, please don’t get a cat. Foster a cat instead. There is a rescue near you that needs foster families desperately. It hurts to give them up, but it stops hurting when a new cat comes along needing you to save its life and help it find a forever home. You can share your home with a cat or several cats without making a lifetime commitment you may not be able to honor. Best of all, you’ll be saving lives.

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23
Jun
10

Anybody want to buy a horse that will be unsound by the time he’s four? Bonus: Kill your kids!


Ad Text:

I NEED TO FIND A GOOD HOME FOR MY 2 YEARS OLD HORSE!
HE IS A GREAT HORSE!
HE WILL BE A GREAT HORSE FOR KIDS!
HE WAS TRAINED BUT JUST DOESNT GET RIDDEN SO HE WILL NEED SOME TUNING!
NEED TO FIND A GOOD HOME !
ASKING $450

Wait, WTF? Let’s break this down.

The horse is two now. Most horses are born in the spring. Presuming the best of the owner, let’s say the colt probably turned two in March, the earliest that it’s really likely anything but a racing Thoroughbred was born. If he was trained but doesn’t get ridden anymore and now needs tuning up, that means he’s probably not been ridden in at least two months. And for even an idiot to consider him “trained,” not “started,” he’d probably need at least 60 days under saddle. So even thinking magnanimously, we’re looking at a horse who likely was ridden before he turned two.

For the non-equestrians in the audience, horses’ joints don’t mature fully until at least age four. You can start a horse at two if you absolutely must, preferably with a vet’s approval. Some racehorses are started as “long yearlings” (almost two) with a very light rider, and they aren’t expected to stay sound for more than at most a couple years of racing. But from that dished face (see below) this horse looks like he might be part Arabian–a breed that most experienced trainers won’t start under saddle until at least age three.

Bottom line: Not only is this an immature horse with very little training being advertised as a horse for children, but he’s also been ridden at such a young age that it’s likely he will not remain sound for riding for very long, if he’s even sound now. He also looks slightly underweight.

Congratulations, anonymous Craigslist poster. I’m sure that whoever eventually eats your horses’s flesh after he’s auctioned off to a kill buyer is very glad that someone (probably you) bred this poorly built horse, rode the poor thing as a yearling, and then you sold it to some poor sap who thought a two year old (probably intact) colt would be safe for their kids. I just hope that a child isn’t seriously injured or killed along the way.

Poor horse:

22
Jun
10

Honesty is the best policy, and this guy’s honestly horrible.


Ad Text:

I need to give away these pups. Ive been trying to sell them using craigslist, but no one wants to pay the price Im asking. I am a breeder, but I dont want to pay to buy and ad to sell them. They are getting to old, no one is gonna want to pay the high price I am asking anymore. So I am either giving them away free or taking them to the pound (wjere I will have to pay a fee to turn them in) so they can be adopted out for 50 bucks, which ensures shots, registration, and fix. 623-[redacted]

Wait, what am I supposed to snark about here? What can I say about this person that makes them look any worse than they’re admitting to being? I’ll give it the old college try, but I’m not sure it’s possible to mock someone who’s this frank about being a worthless, BYB jackass who is busy filling shelters’ euthanasia lists with more unwanted Pit Bulls.

What if this person’s Pit bitch had required a c-section or other emergency care? That would cost a little more than an ad in the paper–which, of course, is just another BYB tactic. Responsible breeders don’t need to advertise; they have a house or kennel full of walking advertisements, which they display at shows and/or performance events. Maybe they buy an ad in a breed-specific newsletter or on a show’s class list, but the newspaper classifieds are BYBs all the way down. But back to the pet who produced these puppies: Of course, he’d just have let her die. And he’d probably have posted any surviving puppies on Craigslist with some blab about “dog died giving birth, don’t have time to bottle feed, anyone want them?” and they’d get fed to some sicko’s Boa Constrictor.

It’s amazing to me how people can go through life so completely immune to the idea that, just maybe, they did something stupid. I’m a forgiving person. I wouldn’t have posted this person here if the ad had said “I was stupid enough to think I could make easy money breeding dogs; now I’m stuck with a bunch of puppies that I realize nobody wants. If you can give one of them a good home I’d be eternally grateful. The mother has been spayed.” A mistake that could cost dogs’ lives is a big mistake, but it’s still forgivable if the person who makes it truly understands what they’ve done wrong.

But this guy/gal? Nope. I bet they’ll have another litter within the season.

Poor pups:

19
Jun
10

Poe’s Law meets Craigslist idiots.


Ad Text:

Hi all!!

I have some really cool puppies for sale for $50.00. The mother is crossed with a Pit Bull and Siberian Husky and the father is part Whippet and part Red Bone Hound. We were so happy when we bred these parents, the puppies are so cute, maybe we have a new breed, lol!

Email me for pics and times to come by to see them, they won’t be ready for a few weeks so hurry, hurry hurry and place a deposit

Is it some witty troll satirizing the worst of the worst BYBs on Craigslist? Or is it actually someone dumb enough to intentionally breed such mixed-up mutts and brag about it? Should I be laughing or facepalming right now? I’m so confused.

If these are real puppies, the temperament and physical characteristics in the litter are probably so diverse that you’d do better writing dogs’ personality traits on a dartboard and tossing darts at it than trying to predict anything based on their breeding. They’ll want to pull a sled into the woods to tree a coon while trembling on your lap and protecting your home.

18
Jun
10

…and the chain they were dragged in on.


Ad Text:

I have 3 dogs that i have to get rid of. Im moving to apartment which dont alloe pets. I have 2 boys and one girl. They are good with kids. they were raised their hole life around them. They are yard dogs if you get them you can have the chain that they are on. They are brothers and sisters. If you are interested my phone number is 904-[redacted] no emails please thanks

Protip: Dogs “raised around kids” are raised underfoot, with kids hugging on them, kissing them, maybe reaching for their toys and food, giving treats, telling them to “sit,” and so on and so forth. Being chained in a yard where kids occasionally pass by isn’t “raised around kids,” it’s “abused in the vicinity of children.”

So, good job, Mom/Dad, whoever you are. Not only have you chained three dogs outdoors, where they’re exposed to weather, aggressive loose dogs, strangers teasing them, theft, and other miscellaneous abuse, you’ve taught your children that commitment to a furry family member means nothing more than sticking them in the yard to rot and then dumping them when you feel like moving.

But hey, at least the poster is willing to give their chain to the next abuser. God forbid whoever picks up these poor pups have to buy their own chain to continue the neglect.

Credit goes to Dogs Deserve Better on Facebook for pointing out this awful ad. If you think you might actually be able to save these dogs, you can find a link to the full ad with contact information on the Dogs Deserve Better page–at least, at the time of this posting, you still could.

Poor chained dogs:

18
Jun
10

An offer you can refuse.


Ad Text:

Hi
I am looking for an African Grey Parrot, if anyone want to re-home his parrot I am willing to take it for $150-$200 with or without cage. I already have some birds in my house; so please contact me at 720-[redacted] if you are willing to re-home your parrot.
Thank you
Abdullah Arab

What a generous, gracious man. He’s willing to take your African Grey Parrot off your hands for 10% of what it costs to purchase one from a decent breeder. And he already has some birds in his house (what, did they just fly in and start nesting?) so you’re assured that not only will you be permitted to sell your bird (with or without cage!) cheaply to this man, you can also be certain that it won’t get his exclusive attention, nor will it be important enough for him to refer to it by name or species. It’ll be another “bird” that’s “in his house.”

There’s a way to offer your home to a bird in need. There’s also an appropriate way to convey that you’re looking to provide a good home, not pay breeder prices for a parrot. However, if you’re requesting the opportunity to provide a home to a very expensive exotic bird whose annual checkups and bloodwork will cost more than you’re willing to pay for the bird, you might consider offering something, anything that indicates you’re actually a decent owner, not a reseller. Say, the names and species of the birds you already own. The name of your vet. A little information about what you feed your birds and how much attention they get.

Oh, who am I kidding? This isn’t just a poorly written ad, this is either a reseller or someone who sees parrots with the intelligence of human toddlers as a convenient, exotic accessory that would go nicely with their sofa and impress the neighbors.

17
Jun
10

One of the world’s worst horse owners and Craigslisters, exposed.

We don’t usually repost links from other blogs, but upon the blogger’s express invitation, I’m inviting all our readers (yes, all four of you!) to view Worst of CL Horse Ads’ post about a really awful, terrible, no good horse owner and dealer.

If you are anywhere near Alberion, Michigan and have horse experience and a little room on your farm, perhaps you can save one of these horses. They’re not quality animals and probably not sound behaviorally or physically, but the mare deserves better than a coin flip between dying of the rotting fetus in her uterus or dying in a slaughterhouse. And the stallion deserves a chance to be a very nice gelding.